Force (The Disciples Book 5) by Cassandra Robbins

Author:Cassandra Robbins [Robbins, Cassandra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cassandra Robbins
Published: 2022-06-08T16:00:00+00:00

JULIANNA

Present

Disciples’ clubhouse

Burbank, CA

The slam of the door doesn’t surprise me. Maybe I’m numb, because none of this seems odd, yet it probably is.

My eyes drift over to his bookshelf. I guess the mystery’s solved on why he has so many medical books: he thinks he’s insane.

I almost laugh. If I don’t, I’ll cry for him. And he doesn’t want my pity. The thing is, I have nothing but pride and admiration for him. Given the same circumstances, I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t be doing as well.

Taking a deep breath, I try to digest his words, but all I can think of is a sweet little boy with dark hair and rosy cheeks, scared because he had a dream, and his mother beating him and calling him a devil.

Diavolo.

My stomach turns. What is wrong with people? She told him he was a monster, so he became one.

Or is he?

Not that it matters. I know what he is to me. Sitting down in his chair, I swear I can smell him: smoke, leather, and a touch of spice. I need a cigarette and alcohol. When was the last time I ate? I rub my forehead. It’s not like I could choke down food anyway. My stomach is in knots.

Walking over to his bar area, I grab a bottle of tequila and a pack of cigarettes, not even bothering to get dressed. Who cares? It’s not like anyone’s gonna see me.

I’ll sit, smoke, and drink. Maybe I can get so smashed I pass out. I light up my cigarette and pull my knees under me as I smoke.

“He’s bruised, but not broken,” I whisper, sniffing and wiping my nose with the back of my hand. Jesus, if my family could see me now… The thing is, the person sitting naked in this chair feels way more alive than the Julianna who wore expensive, conservative dresses and suits and let the world walk by her.

I unscrew the bottle. It’s some brand I’ve never heard of, and I take a swig straight from the bottle. It’s like fire and agave and hard to swallow.

“Oh my God, what the hell is this?” Exhaling fumes, I stare at the bottle. My phone rings, and I jump unsteadily to get it from the bed. I’m already off balance from one swig.

When I grab my phone, I almost want to cry. It’s not Ryder; it’s Gia. If I answer this, I’ll probably lose it, so I decline the call.

I barely get back to the chair when it starts ringing again. I close my eyes. She’s gonna keep calling, so I answer.

“Hey.” My voice cracks as I reach for the horrendous tequila.

“Hey.” Gia’s voice sounds cautious, which means she already knows I’m here.

“I can’t really talk right now.” I bite my bottom lip and look up at the ceiling, refusing to cry. I’ve done enough of that already.

“I got off the phone with Eve a few seconds ago,” she says.

Nodding as if she can see me, I drink from the bottle again, then clear my throat, trying not to cough in her ear.

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